My farts smell like rotten eggs. I would describe it as rancid. Rackin' rancid. Rusty rancidity.
Thats what it is.
Blame it on the MacDons, gotcha feelin gassy, blame it on the frappe, gotcha feelin' nastay, blame it on the so- so so so so sodium, blame it on the so so so so so sodium!
I think I have contracted the Streptococcus virus. This virus is dangerous and could cause the return of the dinosaurs. This virus needs to be monitored at all times and could lead to the spread of Steptococcus dinosaur virus, which has the same effect on your throat as drain-o. How do i know this? It happened to me.
I returned to the prehistoric era, once or twice , or maybe just once, i don't remember, and I saw the virus with my very own eye. Yea I only got to see it with one. I mean this thing was comparable to cabbage. How do i see a microscopic virus? Well i got permission from the Supreme court of Vege-straws to give me permission to use my shrink-ray-teleporter. I was able to shrink to microscopic size using this excellent invention I made out of a toaster oven.
Speaking of cabbage, I ordered a burger today from the cafeteria and they picked an entire lettuce farm and put it on my burger. I know lettuce is good for you, and I'm not here to argue that, I'm just saying that some people may not enjoy to eat their weight in lettuce for lunch. Its not a personal problem, its a choice. I am pro-lettuce-choice. Its a merit of mine.
I just farted, and realized that I'm farting into a chair with foam type material underneath the upholstery, which means my fart is being sucked deep into the foam, thus incubating the stench. This stench is probably using budding , to , you know, replicate itself, while using glycolysis to produce ATP to feed the fart, in order for it to grow. I think aerobic respiration is allowing it to live without sunlight. It all makes sense now.
If only I could harness its power for evil.
gweh! gweh!
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