I left everything behind including my brain

Before i get into my retardism, I would first like to talk about my Wednesday before I left for home.

So on Wednesday, a slew of us decided that we needed to try and make margaritas. Now this may seem like a simple task but let me tell YOU it is the complex of all complexities when it involves me.

So first, we have our alcohol, check. But there needs to be more? What? Margarita mix? Yea we just walked in with it, what did they think we were doing with it? I don't know, they're retarded. So we go down to the cafeteria, and fill up 3 bags with ice from the soda machine. We needed ice, but , you also need it in snow form. Problem 1. We don't have access to a blender. So naturally I say, "lets just use a hammer". So I slam away at the ziploc bag, it breaks MULTIPLE times, It proceeded to sand blast ice all over the room. After a brief hiatus of laughing, i continued to slam away. After using multiple bags, we finally have what seems to be perfect. WRONG.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

We tried mixing it up, and all it turned into was watery ice, and margarita mix, and vodka. NOTHING. I guess it was just on the rocks, as the aztecs would say.

Phase 2.

So did you know that when you leave to visit home for the weekend, you don't need anything? I apparently thought this.

Upon arriving home, i realized that I had brought, nothing.

When I mean nothing, I mean nothing. I brought clothes, because that would be the most retarded thing to leave, because when you "pack" you think clothes. But let me explain the things I forgot and why it was a problem.

Thing 1,  I forgot my retainers. Not completely essential, but i never forget them because they are always by glasses case, so...I don't know why I grabbed one and not the other, i must have just thrashed about through my dorm and ran out.

Thing 2. Homework. This is a special thing  I did, EXTRA special. It was saturday afternoon, heading back from iron mountain with my mom, and I ask her, "what day is it today?". She was like "UM...Saturday?".

SHIT.

Every time I go home, you know what not even that, every WEEK. There is a response paper I have to write for my seminar. For what ever reason, I completely forgot about it. Amongst the things I left in Milwaukee, apparently one of them was my brain.

I quit college for the weekend and decided I wasn't enrolled in any classes and didn't need anything.

Thing 3. Hey cash crunch. I forgot my debit card in milwaukee. Now you may be wondering, why wasn't it in your wallet like always? Well I mean the answer is CLEAR as to why it was just sitting on top of my dresser.

Problems with this:

-When did I take it out?
-When did I put it there?
-Why did it put it there?
-Why on the edge of my dresser?
-How could I not have seen it when I was packing?
-How did I not notice its absence when buying lunch at Five Guys for lunch that day?

The answers these questions will be forever shrouded in mystery. This left me in a cash crunch while home, I had to put a random amount of gas into my car to get from place to place. This is all while i'm obviously putting gas in my car to GO TO Mcdonalds to buy food. This is a double edged sword of money spending, and endless vicious cycle of sodium and dollar signs.

Amongst all this I still found the money to buy two 5 dollar movies at Walmart, out of the 5 dollar movie bin. I know, weird that a 5 dollar movie would be in the 5 dollar movie bin. I bought "Carrie" (blu-ray and dvd disc in one case! How could I resist?) and the movie "Trick 'r Treat" I don't know why it is "r" and not "or", but that has nothing to do with anything. I watched "Trick 'r Treat", and I think it was worth the 5 dollars. I mean everyone needs a low budget film to watch from time to time while doing "math zone" home work in your dorm.

No, you HAVE to be doing "math zone" homework and be in a dorm to watch this movie. It says it on the back.

Oh, and by the way, a man, I will call him Mr. Rudestein, has the personality of a rock. Im sorry that you are working at a dorm building's convenience store, that is not my choice. So therefore I don't appreciate it that you rip my meal plan card out of my hand every time I buy something. I am buying something because I want to eat and or drink it. Don't rip my card out of my hand, swipe it violently, while looking annoyed that I'm buying something. You are aware that in convenience stores, people buy things. Im sorry that you can't play World of Warcraft on your laptop for a whopping 5.3 seconds while you swipe a card. I think World of Warcraft will still be there when you get back.