Oh NERDASKA!!!

NERDASKA!!! THIS ONES FOR YOU!


So today, I decided that it would be a good idea to slam on my snooze button 19 times. This resulted in me getting out of my dragons lair at 9:18. My class starts at 9:30. As you can see this time crunch posses a problem, due to the excessive molasses-pace of the shuttles.

I eventually arrived at my class at 9:35, where I wasn't greasy. Let me just say again that I wasn't in a discussion room appearing as if I had jumped into a McDonalds deep fryer.

After my grease-cussion, I naturally ran into my scholarly cousin Kim. We discussed her nasal-voice due to her ailment for a few minutes and we decide that I will come visit her in her office after my exhilarating math 90 class with JULIEGENSRICK.

We part ways and instead of going into Bolton Hall where JULIEGENSRICK was waiting for me, I walked into the union and stood inline at Taco Bell. After realizing that it is in fact NOT lunch time as it is 10:50, I swiftly swiffered over to my math class.

ON TO THE GOOD PART. After leaving math class and arriving at the all girls college, also known as Johnston, I scale 86 flights of old stairs to reach Kims office. Kim's office is not odd shaped, and it was definitely furnished with all the newest imports from Italy. After discussing lesbian porn with Kim and her colleagues, we both moved on in our daily schedule. Kim's next thing on her schedule was to in fact visit the porn chancellor himself to discuss a "confusing" email.

Instead of doing my homework as early as I had planned tonight, I decided to go to Qdoba with the locals to devour a Queso Burrito.

NATURALLY, after Qdoba I skyped with Aunt Sil, where I taught Aunt Sil how to PROPERLY warm up for an antler-callibur workout.

This is all while we sung "YOU AND I" in DISGUSTING octaves.

Im on a soda diet, soda is greek for anorexia

How many points are cheez-its?


So today as I "analogously" worked on my homework pile form hell, Aunt Sil and I obviously skyped for the entire time. Thats the only way we can both be productive. That is why while reviewing vocabulary terms for my exam tomorrow. we would rather sing "Clit Girl", a remix of "It Girl", but clearly better.

"You could have one tit girl!"

While I was working on my english assignment earlier in our conversation, Aunt Sil and I discussed my possible dietary options. I proposed that I partake in the soda diet, because it is clearly the MOST effective. Aunt Sil quickly shot down the idea with a "positive" bullet.

Side note: I felt the need to yell at Aunt Sil every time she responded with anything positive until she finally told me to quit college and move to "Menominee Falls"......I accepted.

The most important part of my blog.

I farted in my suite mates room.


RAH RAH!

Shoulda sent a thank you note, you little hoe

BOOM SHAKA LAKA

HEY HEY WHAT CAN I SAY, DAY DA DA DAY DA DAY DA DAY DAY

So I used my "alien helmet" to kill everyone today.

"Excuse me, do you have time for Jesus? You should, because he had time for you"


".............No"

Don't assault me with your religion while I am trying to get Taco bell, its a bad idea and will end up in the dungeon dragon being unleashed.

In addition, I do not enjoy the musical stylings of the the music students at UWM. You aren't good, don't practice your horrible songs in front of the entire student body in front of the union. We have no idea what you're singing about and you sound like Kathy Griffin, and you're a boy.

"CAMEL BALLS"

Im here to blog about my camel balls.

"Hey Ellery, so I have a question for you"

"Ha what"

"You know those cigarettes with the balls in them"

"yea, menthol"

"yea the menthol camel balls"

"HA WHAT"

"........NOTHING, SO DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CAMEL BALLS"

Lemme axe you somethin'

If I had a giant fly swapper......

Yes, SWAPPER.

This picture above, is the story of my life. Entertaining myself why others around me are doing things I wish I was. So instead of going into Middle School depressed mode, I would rather just be a complete idiot  and be funny.

This life is getting old and its actually starting to ROYALLY PISS ME OFF. Im too far behind on this Nascar track that I will never catch up I don't think. I know a lot about Nascar, and you can't.

Im not sure if accepting defeat is the only answer right now, but I don't think accepting defeat would be very dragon like; thats what the horseflies want.

Instead, I think I'm going to take a dragon vacation and find some other dragons who are of worthy caliber.

RAH RAH

Push you through a chain link fence.....cheese grater.

Since I couldn't find a picture of me killing someone Kill Bill style, this will have to do.

There is no reason that a jellyfish, like me, has to put up with this horsefly bull shit. Those horseflies are lucky that the dungeon dragon was hibernating today because I almost unleashed my cell dwelling wrath on them.

Horsefly:  Someone who thinks they're a part of every gang; constant flowage of shit out of their mouth. They flock to others bull shit to aid them in making it worse, a.k.a. eating it.

I dealt with many familiar horseflies today, they brought some shit with them today. They don't dare bring their shit into my dragon lair though, they just fly by and drop some shit down by the entrance while they're on their way to the horsefly hive.

Horsefly hive: Meeting place of horseflies.

I've decided that I will fight fire with fire until I can lower the horsefly population in my life.

I have a lot of fire.

 

Im a Jellyfish on the way to Madagascar

Hi my name is Taco McJellyfish. I am doomed to ride this under the sea bicycle for the rest of my aquatic life.  I've decided that instead of competing with the sharks I will join the coral people, where I am accepted amongst the snails.

My cousin Sarah and I have decided that Jellyfish have a slight advantage over snails, but nonetheless we are either headed to Britain or Madagascar.

Maybe i'll just become a cell dwelling dungeon dragon and decimate everyone in my path. This is peak my productivity.

RAH RAH IM A DUNGEON DRAGON.